If you didn’t know any better after reading this article, you’d believe that the British harbour a particular dislike towards the Dutch. I must admit that after living in the UK for 11+ years, I have never encountered such sentiments among the British. Quite the contrary, I’ve met a great deal of Britons over the years who love the Netherlands and its quirky inhabitants.
The warmness I’ve experienced from the British is an excellent evidence for the saying that ‘time heals all wounds’: the Dutch and the English were fierce competitors of one another in the 17th and (less so) 18th century and regularly tried to bash each other’s heads in, culminating in four Anglo-Dutch Wars. Not only did this rivalry lead to armed struggle, but also to a war of words as it enriched the English language with an entire catalogue of (negative) expressions about the Dutch. Many of these have since fallen into disuse over the years, but I’ve compiled a list of them for your entertainment.
Expression | Meaning |
Dutch cure | Committing suicide |
Dutch act | Committing suicide or fleeing/deserting |
Dutch defense | A very poor defense. (Also, a chess opening) |
I’m a Dutchman if I do! | A very strong refusal |
Taking Dutch leave | Running away, feeling, deserting… Also, leaving a gathering without saying goodbye to anyone |
Do the Dutch | (Again) Committing suicide |
Dutch agreement | An agreement made between two people who are very drunk |
Dutch concert | Drunk people who have broken out in song |
Dutch headache | A hangover |
Dutch nightingale | Either a frog or a drunk person singing |
Dutch comfort | Deriving comfort from the fact that things could be worse |
Dutch courage | Confidence gained from drinking alcohol |
Being in Dutch | Being in trouble |
Dutch uncle | Someone who dispenses blunt advice/criticism (but who isn’t necessarily a bad person) |
Dutch generosity | Stinginess |
Going Dutch | Sharing the cost of a food or drinks bill (which started off as an insult, but many people have since realised that doing this makes sense) |
Dutch treat | Something that is initially perceived as a treat, but which you ultimately end up paying for yourself |
Dutch auction | An auction where the price keeps being lowered until a buyer presents themselves |
Dutch widow | A prostitute |
Dutch oven | A fart under the bedsheets, preferably while holding another person’s head under the sheets as well (Also, a cooking pot) |
Getting your Dutch up | Getting angry |
Dutch bargain | A rip-off |
Dutch leaf | Fake gold leaf made from base metals |
Dutch gold | Fake gold made from base metals |
Dutch reckoning | A very high bill that isn’t itemised at all |
Double Dutch | Incomprehensible, unintelligible gibberish (Also, a jump rope game) |
You may of course wonder: did the Dutch retaliate with negative expressions of their own? The answer to that is ‘no’, but perhaps they were too drunk or too scared to think of any good ones. In order to not leave you entirely empty-handed, I’ll share a Dutch joke about the English that I heard when I lived in Amsterdam:
Which three things can typically be found in an Amsterdam canal? Ducks, shopping trolleys and drunk Englishmen.
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